Y porque ya era hora del rico Spanglish (y porque este relato merece ser publicado), una cronica al fiel estilo de Usama Syed (Usamita para mi) sobre nuestra ultima reunion en la German House.
* Topics treated: Vote for new people, Save plates, Random stuff…
* Designated note-taker: Usamita
(Some previous stuff… not as interesting… Usama has been taking notes for an hour… it is about time to start to put some spice……. Member Voting
10 Openings
Only 2 German Speaker Applicants.
Required by Constitution to leave 10 spaces open until 3 weeks before fall for German Speakers.
Voting NO = No for applied semester. Not NO forever and ever. Decided to discuss German-speaking applicants before voting starts.
Refer Loren’s and Drake’s Membership Applications. Point Raised. Members should make an effort to speak to applicants.
Applicants should make an effort as well
EMILY WOULD DO DRAKE. “TALL, DARK & HANDSOME.”
How many members get voted in?
0 members. 1
1 member. 12
2 members. 7
Usama chosen for printing job pretty flipping forcibly. Long sigh. Members Voted: Drake voted in with 18 votes and 1 No.This shows that most members agree with Emily’s comment. We wonder who would not do Drake…Most members of the house like Boys. Mmm Boys… Esther wants an internet-phone thingy to be bought for the house. (Flippin new age electronics.)All agreed. Internet connection sucks huge salty chocolate nuts. MMMMM.PEOPLE!!!!!! KEEEP THE PORCH CLEAN. JESUS CHRIST PEOPLE. C’MON NOW. SAVE PLATES AKA “Stop eating my fucking save plates. For real people.”Nabeel says abandon the clip plan. Also suggests 12pm rule blows. Jaki referees. Esther and Ali detail the origins of the 12pm rule in a mesmerizing tale. New York Times calls it the best musical since The Little Mermaid. Sophia makes shocking revelation: save-plate system being abused for devious lunch purposes. Simon says MY SAFE-PLATE BITCH….I DO WHAT I WANT. Marco rambles on again. Yawn. Simon says clipped safe-plates disappear- their only trace being the clips hanging off of a rope in a heinous hit and run crime. Alvaro distinguishes between public and private fridge in a stroke of genius. (Seriously why didn’t anyone else get it? Alvaro’s smart.) Chris breaks it down and redefines the purpose of the clip. Ebert calls it brilliant. Silent during the entire meeting, the wise wizard Jakub arises. Silence drops as everyone listens attentively. He speaks. And he proclaims that after 12pm the next day anything in public fridge- clip or not- is free for all. “Wanna save your shit? Use the private fridge holmes,” he declares. Jakub declares new rules. There’s scattered murmurs across the room. But they soon die down as everyone realizes the sheer brilliance and simplicity of Supreme Wizard Jaki’s alterations to the rules. Taesun proclaims he has a dick. No, seriously he did. That was not random at all. Not random at all. Marco is the only person who wanted a demonstration of it. I think he wants to see some dick. Someone get him laid. Please. Maybe he is the one who does not want to do Drake…Hmmm
Alvaro proclaims there’s delicate stuff growing in the back. …….”
And that’s it for now. Luego la reunion se deshizo en mil pedazos, algunos rajaron, algunos rieron, algunos siguieron comiendo helado con galletas (ok, YO segui comiendo helado con galletas). No creen que Usamita es un escritor comico en bruto? That’s the Indian vibe my friend, parti party!
